I have a love-hate relationship with a lot of things. Like Pinterest, I love it but seriously . . . it’s a time eating demon monster from hell. Pizza is another, but this one runs a little too deep to explain right now. And textured nail polish, I buy it all the time, and I like it maybe 55% of that time. But I keep going back because the ones I really like are so good. But the bad ones are so bad, and the ‘meh’ ones make me bored quickly. Goddamn I’m picky . . .

So how about we take a peek at swatches of some of my textured polishes and discuss the good, the bad and the just plain ugly.

I Included some angled shots in the sunlight so you could get a realistic idea of just how textured some of these are. The top view on a few of them doesn’t do them justice, and in some cases it can make it look better than it actually is, couldn’t go and let that happen now could we?

• OPI Stay The Night - Let’s start on a high note! This one is lovely! The textured finish is matte and contrasts the red glitter really nicely, it’s interesting and the color is very flattering on the fingers. This is a keeper, but I’m not gonna lie . . .I usually end up putting top coat on after a day or two because I get bored. I think I have polish related ADD.
• Essie Belugaria - I don’t like to do negative reviews flat out bashing something, but buckle your seat belts because this one literally made me angry. First of all, it doesn’t make it very clear that it is a textured polish on the bottle, and by doesn’t make it clear I mean it just flat out doesn’t say it at all. So I picked this up thinking it was a black jelly with holographic glitter. When I brought it home and swatched it, it was a different story entirely. This is hands down the lumpiest textured polish I have ever seen. It looks like someone spilled gobs of sand and broken shells into it. Before you even put it on the nail, you can see hunks of unevenly spread sandy substance in the liquid polish. When it is applied it is nearly impossible to get an even coat, or to make clean lines at the cuticles. Completely weird and unpleasant to work with. I wore it as an accent nail on my pinky to see if I could get used to it, but i took it off the same day because it looked like lumpy garbage with glitter . . .it looks like a growth to me, or like a reptile with a disease . . . .I can’t even. If you are into the way this polish looks then more power to you, I know everyone is different and thats fine, but I’m not feeling it. Which normally wouldn’t make me so mad but ya know . . .I was basically tricked into buying it due to the lack of a description. I still love Essie, and some of the other colors in this collection were great, but this one is a no from me, dawg. OMG it’s making me talk like Randy Jackson. OK, time to drop it.
• TheBalm I Take My Coffee Matte and Black - Back to happy land! This one is simple. Matte black polish, good quality, good stuff. I really like the idea of matte black polish, and I think it’s super chic and clean but still interesting. The only complaint I have is this is one of the ones I get bored of, but I simply pop a shiny top coat or even a glitter over it after a couple if days and I’m all set.
• OPI What Wizardry is this - This one is not only an interesting texture but it’s also and interesting color. It’s like antique gold, bronze and green all at once, which is fun! I find that textured polishes are more flattering when there is a little bit of something metallic involved. Otherwise they end up looking a little dingy to me after a while, does anyone else feel like that?
• OPI MY Favorite Ornament - I included this in my holiday nail polish favorites so I won’t go rambling on about how much I love it again, but this might be my all time favorite textured polish. So pretty, just look at it up there shining.
• OPI 4 In The Morning - I did a review of this polish last week, so again I wont go rambling on about it. But the subtlety of it being off black, and the satin finish as opposed to completely matte, is just perfection if you ask me. This was the opposite of making me bored after a few days, I wanted to do a fresh manicure with the same color again, and if you know me you know that that is RARE.
• Butter London The Black Knight - This guy right here definitely falls square into the center of the ‘meh’ category. I really love the color, and the finish is a texture that is somehow still glossy . . which is very interesting and I appreciate the unique quality of it. But at the end of the day I still like this one better with a high gloss top coat over it. The colors in the glitter are so dimensional and pretty, but they get lost in the texture. It just makes me wish they put these colors in a glossier formula so I didn’t have to put a ton of top coat over it.

You see how torn I am on this topic? It’s very hot and cold for me. There are a bunch of other ones that I have that I really don’t like at all, but I decided not to swatch them all because who wants to sit here reading about me being Debbie Downer all day?

Does anyone else feel this way with textured polish? I think I’m addicted to the thrill of buying them and seeing if I love them or hate them. Kidding . . .kind of.