It’s been about a year since I did any sort of personal, chatty, life related post and I felt like maybe it was time to change that. I’m thinking I might do chit chat type of thing more often actually, because there are a good number of you that come back and read my posts regularly and why shouldn’t we get to know each other a bit better? You guys come here and read how I feel about certain makeup techniques and how I do my hair, and I never really talk about anything else. I’m not an expert on life, or a perfect example of a successful human, or anything like that. But talking about our lives and stuff is good, and we can all learn from each other’s experiences a little. So why not?
Basically in a nutshell, this year has been completely batsh*t insane. As you may remember, last september we picked up and moved from New York City to a much smaller “city” (if you can really call it that) in New England. To be clear when I say “we” I mean my fiance, my bulldog and myself. It was a choice, we weren’t forced to move out of New York by any sort of extenuating circumstances, we just both felt that it was what was right for us. Being born and raised there, we both felt like the city was weighing on us a bit. We wanted something slower, something quieter, and also something more affordable because we were both working our asses off to just to live an OK lifestyle. We also felt like it’s important to leave and see other things, and see how other people live. Even if you live in the greatest city in the world, if you stay there forever it can have a bit of a bubble effect. If it’s all you know, how can you even appreciate it, or know that it’s definitely what’s right for you, ya know what I mean?
When we left we knew the first few months would be an adjustment but I’m not gonna lie to you guys, it was harder than I even expected. I was doing freelance makeup in NY and I knew that the type of work I was doing wasn’t an option up here. Don’t get me wrong you can be a makeup artist in a smaller city, but my main love in doing makeup was more fashion related, and making the jump from fashion to bridal type stuff just wasn’t appealing to me. I knew that going in, and I chose it anyway. Doing a job I loved in a place that made me have anxiety just didn’t make sense. I’m finally settling in to the new lifestyle and kind of going back to my roots doing other types of art and design work to make ends meet on top of my blogging, but the adjustment was a bit hard. I went from the adrenaline and pressure of meeting new people, on a crazy schedule and going to new places and having to perform like its your first day on the job (because it kind of is) every single time I worked, to the opposite. Getting up in the morning on my own, making my own schedule and having only myself to set the standards. It’s been a journey. I’m getting there though.
In the course of this year we have moved, gotten engaged, planned a wedding (well mostly planned a wedding . . .I still have to pick the food. I should really get on that) started looking at buying houses and had to make more new friends than I thought I was capable of making. Seriously I am terrible at making new friends to begin with, and working from home does NOT help. I feel like I’m very lucky to have met people so quickly, and I should probably thank Matt for forcing me into it because he’s a whole lot better at it than I am. Like I’m great at chatting with people and getting along when I’m in a social situation, but initiating social situations is hard for me. The thought of walking up to someone and being like “Hey, wanna hang out?” gives me middle school flashbacks. That’s probably something I need to work on.
Do any of you have that issue too? I swear I can’t even understand myself sometimes. But somehow I have met some really great people and I feel really lucky for it.
This guy never says no to hanging out! Though to be fair he kinda doesn’t have a choice.
I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. I have it good, I know I have it good and I appreciate it every day, but with growth comes the growing pains and I would be a total jerk to sit here and pretend like everything is easy all the time.
With all this adjusting and changing I can say that I’ve learned a few things.
First of all, life can feel terrible and uncomfortable and be amazing at the same time. Sometimes you can look at your life and see all of these scary new things happening, and you can simultaneously be terrified, overwhelmed and excited. Even when you know you’re on the right path, moving forward can make you poop your pants, and continuously second guess yourself. My take on it is: Keep moving, even if you screw it up you’ll learn from it. If you aren’t happy, change something. You aren’t happy anyway, so you may as well try something new and see if it works better for you.
I’ve also learned that the internet changed everything. Seriously EVERYTHING. If you live in a big city and you think everywhere else is just filled with a bunch of yokels who are ten years behind on the curve, think again. There are people who are “with it” everywhere now. If you want to move somewhere smaller and you have people telling you otherwise, go look for yourself. Don’t let their snobbery make a decision for you.
Oh and If you’re into something specific, somebody else around you is probably into that thing too, and if there isn’t someone near you who digs what you dig, it doesn’t even matter because you can go online and find ~5 gazillion more people who do.
It also changed our relationships with people we already know. Twenty years ago if I had moved here from New York I would basically have to give up most of the friendships that I had. Now it’s like I talk to my friends just as much as I did at home. I may not see them in the flesh as often, but I still have their support and companionship in a way that wasn’t possible in my situation twenty years ago. It’s pretty cool.
Another good lesson I’ve learned is that there are always going to be people in your life who question Every. Decision. You. Make. It’s annoying, and you might want to knock them out once and a while, but most of the time they mean well. It’s important to take what they say, filter it through your own brain, and find a balance between their advice and your own ideas. If you constantly let other people dictate your life you will be miserable, but on the contrary if you never listen to anyones advice you might end up doing some really dumb sh*t.
Another surprise lesson: Hiking is awesome. It’s hard and tiring and a little scary sometimes because you think you might fall off a cliff or get eaten by a bear, but totally worth it and awesome. Actually it’s 100% NOT worth getting eaten by a bear. Few things are. Can’t learn that in Queens, that’s for sure.
I also learned that that meme sums up my life. I want the quiet and calm of living in the middle of nowhere, but I want to be able to order cool sweaters from TopShop and go on Pinterest (to help decorate the cabin, obviously) while I’m there. Life goals.
That’s a lot of talkin’ I just did, but I think it basically catches us all up on where I’m at in life at the moment. Sorry for the rambles, but I think a post like this is good now and then to break the monotony of lipstick and eyeshadow talk every now and then. I think I’m gonna try to do something a little more chatty once a month or so, either about life stuff, or even some non-beauty related DIYs. Let me know what you guys think!